my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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