dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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