Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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