At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize