Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
