watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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