how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
