I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
