Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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