You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
