im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
