I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
