OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
