Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
