PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
love makes seman taste better
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
