I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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