that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
