Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
