sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
