you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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