i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
