with your own penis?
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
