Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
