Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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