remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
