youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
