I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I touched a dick in church today
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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