Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
