Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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