Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
They took my balls.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
