My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
