she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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