my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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