Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He is an equal opportunity slut.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
