Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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