I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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