you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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