How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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