you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i just had sex bonerless
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Congratulations! We have a period
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