why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
