Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
