Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I am spending my child support on dildos
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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