I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
