I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
