Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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