Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
