So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
