Pappa wants mamma naked
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
