it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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