You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
