She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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