just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize