OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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