I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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