so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Fuck me I smell like cheese
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
