You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
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