Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
