Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
