I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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