...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
