Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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