it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize